Identifying Lifestyle Patterns for Improved Mental and Emotional Well-Being

I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday ~ Elenor Roosevelt

Today we will take a look at how the choices that we’ve made, not only in the past, but also in the present moment, lead to the lifestyle we are currently living. Our journey today will assist us in identifying lifestyle habits and self sabotaging behaviors, in order to change the pattern for improved mental and emotional well-being.

As Elenor Roosevelt so aptly reminds, “I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.“. Over time these choices become habits that create our lifestyle. These habits include our thoughts, emotions, and behavior patterns. Let’s take an inquisitive look at these factors that have created our current lifestyle. But, before we do, If you haven’t read the previous blogs, please do so as it provides insight relevant to our topic today.

Interpretation of Life Experiences

The CBT lifestyle model describes the way we interpret our experiences in life. This is often decided by the predominate thought, emotion, and behavior patterns we are entrenched in. If we have a more positive outlook on life we interpret experiences more positively. If we tend to have a more glass is empty bent on life, then our experiences are often interpreted as such as well. Over time, our perspective on experiences runs on auto pilot, where we do not even realize the thought, emotion, or behavior lens with which we are viewing life. This then becomes the pattern we live by. This view becomes a confirmation bias, meaning we tend to search for, interpret, or process information, that is consistent with this current belief (or thought, emotions, and behavior habits). These lifestyle habits or patterns can, unknowingly, become our self sabotaging behaviors. Let’s take a closer look.

The CBT model posits that thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all interconnected. The predominate patterns of this interconnectedness is what gives rise to your current lifestyle.

Let’s break it down…

Experiences are the personal events or situations that one undergoes in life. These events or encounters shape perception, influence decisions, and contribute to how we understand or interpret the world around us.

Thoughts/beliefs/judgements… are the contents of your thinking mind. This is the constant chatter in your head -although this may be subconscious chatter that you are unaware of. Underneath these thoughts lie the persistent stream of evaluations or the story that your mind is creating about the situation you are in, the people you are with, how you are feeling, etc. If you have more positive thoughts your brain interprets things more positively. Negative bias gives rise to more negative interpretations overall. Over time, these subconscious, evaluative thoughts run the show and create the thought cycle you are unknowingly entrenched in. These thoughts then lead to…Emotion patterns

Feelings/emotions… are your subjective experiences of your mood or how you are feeling in any given moment (e.g. happy, sad, surprised, disgusted, angry, fearful). I further break this down with an ocean analogy. All day long we have feelings that crash to shore like a wave, and recede back out…happiness arises and then recedes…disappointment swells and then retreats, and so on. Over time, the predominate feeling pattern (how your thoughts interpret experiences which leads to a certain feeling) become emotions or the undertow within the waves. This emotional undertow tends to pull us in a certain direction or interpretation and becomes the primary emotional pattern you experience in life. Physical sensations -such as neck or jaw tension, pain, or light-headedness, constrictions, stomach churning and so on- are the signals that indicate emotional patterns are in play.

Actions/reactions/behaviors… As your thoughts roll into feeling and emotions, your emotions create responses, actions or behaviors to the event, person or experience. This is where we may begin to feel a bit out of control or not understanding why we responded as we did. However, if used as a signal to pause and reflect, it gives us an opportunity to begin to unravel the patterns or habits we live by. In fact, at any point within this cycle -thoughts, emotions, or actions- we have an opportunity to make a more helpful choice (which we will discus more deeply at a later date).

Lifestyle Patterns… Together these factors, or how you predominately interpret experiences, create the lifestyle patterns you find yourself in. If you recall in our previous post on your “roots,” this cycle may have begun even in childhood. And although you desire change these patterns, they may keep pulling back -simply because it’s a familiar and therefore more energy efficient pattern. Your new awareness and tools, however, can begin to shift and eventually change this pattern. We will explore these tools for change at a later date, but if you want more information on how to start this process you can explore the BTrulyU Counseling or the Art of Nourished Living Coaching websites for more information. We can work together and map out your journey to a new you!

The first step in changing the patterns of unhelpful lifestyle habits is simple non-judgmental awareness. Throughout the next day or week, simply begin to notice or become aware of what predominate thought, emotion, or behavior patterns run your life…are your thoughts more positive and helpful or does your mind chatter tend to be critical and self judgmental? Are your emotions calm and confident or anxious, worried or more depressed? Are your behaviors responsive, balanced, and caring to yourself and others or reactive, angry, irritated, or counterproductive? Journal your thoughts regarding these questions…what did you notice?

If you need a starting point, below are some unhelpful thought patterns, or stories we tell ourselves, that keep us stuck in this unhelpful loop. The critical inner voice may weave stories of: “I’m not good enough,” I have to be, or do, more,” ” I’m alone,” “others are better than me,” “I’m a mess or crazy,” “I’m a failure or loser,” “I’m not lovable or no one wants me,” “everyone must think I’m flawed,” and the list goes on.

Some emotions tied up in that could be: anxiety, worry, over-thinking, depressed mood, feeling drained, burnt out, overwhelmed, etc.

Likewise the accompanying behaviors to this could be over-reacting, making a mountain out of a mole hill, unable to see the positive or focusing solely on the negative, over critical, irritable, angry outburst, expecting the worst, procrastination, addiction, isolation, and so on.

As I stated earlier, these patterns most likely began at a time in your life where you did not have the ability to think critically and you simply took on what others said or expected of you. In some cases, especially with healthy parent/family figures their guidance and encouragement may have allowed you to find your own voice and happiness in life. On the other hand, the baggage or dysfunctional patterns of family members may given you unrealistic expectations or roles, and the harsh judgement of others may now have become your own operating system.

The truth is, the more you strive for these unrealistic or even perfectionistic standards, the more dissatisfied with life you become, regardless of the life you actually have (remember the idea of feeling disconnected from life in previous posts?). This cycle is now running on auto-pilot, in the subconscious of your mind. And because this seems so overwhelming you may begin to engage in unhelpful coping strategies, which ultimately keep you stuck. But don’t worry…in spite of the unhelpful patterns you are entrenched in, you can most definitely change the pattern, knowing that you do not have to believe every thought you have…you can learn how!

Although the above exploration may have resulted in some gloomy discoveries, this is time to practice compassion rather than judgement. Although we will focus more fully on changing the pattern in the next episode, I wanted to leave you with a great practice to begin to shape your future self.

• find a quiet, safe, and supportive spot to sit comfortably, and take a moment to relax and settle in.
• Close your eyes (if tis feels comfortable) and take a few deep belly breaths, in and out through your nose, and ground into the present moment.
• Begin to envision the life you want to live -a reality that is different to the one you are currently living. Use your senses to experience this…what do you see, hear, feel and even think? What do you desire from this new reality? Spend a few minutes with this new vision.
• Slowly, taking a few more deep breaths, come back to this present moment.
• Journal about your vision or rather your future self!
• In your mind, state this reality as if you are living it…then say it out loud. Repeat this throughout the day.
• At this point you may become fully aware of the disconnect between your current lifestyle and your authentic self. Perhaps your not able to fully envision a different reality. That’s ok. You’re not alone. I suggest you use this as a daily morning routine to begin to turn the negative thinking around and provide yourself with a conscious vision of what you are working toward.

Congratulation! You have just completed another step in identifying who you are, who you want to become next, and are beginning to craft the the next best version of yourself! Don’t miss the next post that will continue to rewire your lifestyle habits.

If you would like more information about what we do, how we can help, and programs we offer visit our website at btrulyu.com or theartofnourishedliving.com or simply use the contact button above!

See you again soon!